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Siblings

Siblings



It is not easy having a brother or sister who has cancer. You might feel lots of things. You might feel jealous. Your brother or sister is getting lots of attention and you are not. Your friend's lives are not as complicated as yours. You might feel empty or lost. You did not expect your brother or sister to get cancer. You are not in control and do not know what is going to happen. You might feel happy that you are not sick. You might feel bad that you felt jealous or happy. Your feelings might go up or down - you might be surprised by them. What you are feeling is not wrong, but your feelings can affect other people.

Most other people will not know how you are feeling. They think they understand but they won't. It is not happening to them. Do not expect your friends to be able to read your mind. Tell them how you feel and how you want them to act. They may be too scared to ask questions. Do not let people play-down your feelings. What you are going through is difficult and sometimes it is good to hear someone else say this.

You may be hard on your friends because their problems are not as big as yours - but that is not how they might see it. It is important for you to be able to talk to someone who understands you, and who can help you when things are hard. People who might support you include friends, parents, relatives, teachers, school counsellors and hospital social workers.

You can help your brother or sister. He/she will need your company, love and support. Some things you can do are:
  • Visit your brother or sister in hospital
  • Stay with your brother or sister while your parents have a break
  • Phone calls
  • Send letters and cards
  • Do things together - games, puzzles, listening to music, reading aloud, writing and drawing.

Below is a list of websites that you might want to look at:

Websites
Siblings
Camp Quality
Provides support to children with cancer and their families, including siblings.
CanTeen
Australian peer support network for young people between the ages of 12 and 24 for cancer patients, their siblings and young people who have a parent or primary carer with cancer. You can join and become a sibling member.
Livewire
Online community for young people, ages between 10 and 21, who have a brother or sister living with a serious illness, chronic health condition or disability.
National Cancer Institute
'When your brother or sister has cancer - a guide for teens' (USA).
Siblings Australia
Provides support for brothers and sisters of people with special needs, including illnesses.
Supersibs!
USA website ensuring that siblings of children with cancer are honoured, supported and recognised so they may face the future with strength, courage and hope.
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