Parents
Parents |
| When your child is diagnosed with cancer, most parents feel shock and disbelief. The treatment ahead and the decisions you will make may seem very frightening. Many people talk about this experience as “an emotional rollercoaster”. Because of this, there will be different times along the way when you feel that you are coping well, but there may be other times where you may feel that you need extra support. Sometimes it can be scary to admit this, or even to think about talking to someone about this. However, often talking to someone can help you cope and manage these feelings. If you feel you could use some extra help please let someone in your treating team at the hospital know about this, or see the section below on Getting Help. From our experience, there are key points, often called transition times, throughout your child or teenager’s treatment, which can result in increased stress for your family. Someone in your treatment team may check-in with you to see how you are coping at these times. These times include, although are not limited to: |
Diagnosis |
| Diagnosis is a time when most families feel shock and disbelief, and people talk about feeling numb or like they are in a dream. This transition is sudden and devastating. Many parents wonder how they will cope, how their child will cope, if things will ever feel normal again. The main task at this stage is to regroup by seeking information, and getting support from people around you to make necessary treatment decisions. For more information about diagnosis, download this tip sheet. |
Going home for the first time after diagnosis |
| Part of the initial shock will also involve leaving the hospital, and taking your child home for the first time. This can also be a daunting time, as many families are worried about leaving the safety of the hospital. You will be given clear information and guidelines to help manage this. Please ask the treating team if you have any questions regarding this process. |
Long hospital stays |
| Being in hospital for extended periods of time often disrupts all family members and family routines and is a stressful time, particularly if there are other children at home to care for. For information to help you and your child cope with hospital stays download this tip sheet. |
Beginning maintenance |
| Entering into the maintenance phase of treatment is usually seen as a good thing by parents, as it means fewer appointments in hospital and less intensive treatment for your child. However, some people are also surprised at how difficult and scary it can be to have less contact with the hospital, and longer periods between visits. You may be helped at this time by being very clear who you can call if you have any concerns. Please feel free to discuss this with your treating team. |
Coming off treatment |
| Coming off treatment is something that you and your family have been looking forward to for a long time. Almost like reaching a finish line! You may feel very happy or relieved to get to this point. However, this can also a stressful time for various reasons. Parents may worry about their child’s cancer coming back, what to look for to know your child is well, or when you should worry if your child has a cold etc. |
Relapse |
| Although most children will not relapse, you will be aware that this does happen. This is always a very difficult time for families. Strong feelings are aroused for all family members, and sometimes you may struggle with your own feeling or sadness or a sense that this is so unfair. You may find strength in knowing you have battled this before. It can also be helpful to fall back on routines and coping mechanisms that have worked previously, and change the ones that did not. This is a time that you may consider talking to a social worker or psychologist at the hospital on a regular basis or finding a counsellor in the community who you trust and who can help you through this time. |
Helping your child cope with their illness |
| Coping with cancer and treatment can be difficult for children and their parents/caregivers. Children may show they are not coping through changes in their behaviour, and/or emotional state. Most children who have cancer will show good psychological adjustment in the long-term, which may be helpful to remember when you are feeling worried about your child or teenager. It is also important to make sure that you are well supported and can find ways to care for yourself as this will help you to help your child. |
| Download this tip sheet for ideas that may help you manage your child's worries. In addition, there is also a tip sheet to help you manage with toddlers and preschool aged children. For more information regarding managing your child's worries please refer to The Information Book Edition 2.1. |
| If you are concerned by your child’s level of behavioural or emotional distress, talk to your doctor / nurse or social worker about a referral to the mental health team for further help. |
Parenting |
| Parenting a sick child can be both physically and emotionally draining. As well as managing the physical and medical challenges, you also need to cope with the emotional demands of a prolonged and life-threatening illness. Children with cancer will invariably require a lot more attention and care; however they will also need to have the routines of childhood. The difficult task of a parent is how to treat their sick child as normally as possible. Many parents wonder how can we discipline our child as we would normally, when they are unwell? |
| Download this tip sheet for ideas to help you manage with toddlers and preschool aged children. |
Taking care of your relationships |
| Relationships within your circle of family and friends will be altered, and sometimes strained, as everybody adjusts to the situation and takes on additional responsibilities. Although your primary focus is on your child, it is important to also spend time with your partner, family, and friends. Relieving stress and strengthening relationships will allow you to cope better with your child’s illness. |
| Download this tip sheet for ideas to help you take care of your relationships with your partner, your other children, your parents and extended family and friends. |